In various countries, such as Peru and others in Latin America and around the world, we have been given the mistaken notion that negotiating any issue is about ‘winning’ and ensuring that our position prevails. If our proposal isn’t accepted, we were led to believe that the ‘other’ party is taking advantage of us. Due to cultural, historical, or social factors, these perceptions are sometimes deeply ingrained in our work behaviors and environment. While this may be true in some cases, negotiation is a complex process that goes beyond simply ‘winning’ or ‘losing.’

Negotiation, above all, is a dialogue aimed at reaching an agreement or solution that is acceptable enough for all parties involved to implement. Therefore, negotiation is nothing more than a two-way communication process that seeks to build bridges of understanding and acceptance between opposing positions but with common interests.

There is abundant literature on negotiation because conducting it successfully requires a set of skills and qualities that must be systematically and intentionally cultivated. It demands practice, discipline, and a willingness to create common agreement spaces. Here, we will summarize some of the principles that Urma considers fundamental to improving your negotiation skills:

1. Be prepared: Before entering a negotiation, it’s essential to be thoroughly prepared. What does this mean? Preparation for a negotiation involves having the right data, information from past similar experiences, an understanding of the other party’s history, and more. If you do your homework in advance, you can envision multiple scenarios in your mind, even those that are less likely to be discussed. The more creativity you apply in your preparation, the more confidence you will instill in yourself. Do not discard ideas that may seem implausible. The secret is not to be surprised by anything and have the right disposition to enter the negotiation.
2. Develop the right mindset: We often hear that we should have an ‘open mind’ to face a situation or find a solution. This is the opportunity to genuinely do so. It means having the ability to look beyond the differences between the parties, especially looking beyond the person in front of us. Emotional intelligence and a genuine willingness to ‘let’s talk and solve’ instead of ‘I will win’ play a significant role in the tone of the negotiation. When you think you must win, it means someone else will lose, and nobody likes to lose.
3. Practice active listening: Knowing how to listen is an art. This involves understanding the reasons behind the other party’s position. An exercise to promote active listening is to ask several questions about the proposals or topics presented by the other person. You need to be ‘present’ in the conversation, maintaining eye contact, avoiding distractions (such as phones), and, most importantly, avoiding thinking ‘how do I respond to what they’re saying’ but rather thinking ‘how do I learn more about their position.’ Pay attention to body language, which reveals a lot about how both the other person and we feel in a conversation. Effective listening helps put yourself in the other person’s shoes and generate empathy, which is highly valued in complicated situations where ‘thinking outside the box’ solutions are limited.
4. Focus on points of interest: An important outcome of effective listening is that you can discover the other party’s interests, just as you will make your interests known. From this mutual understanding and knowledge, the path can be cleared to find an acceptable solution for both parties. The opposite of this approach is a ‘solution-focused’ negotiation, where a solution is discussed without understanding the reasons behind the proposal. Unfortunately, this ‘solution-focused’ approach drains the parties, wastes time, and generates frustration. It’s better to build from the interests expressed by both parties.
5. Be flexible and think outside your initial parameters: First and foremost, in a negotiation, ensure that you have the authority to make the final decision on the agreement. This is important for building trust between both parties. More importantly, with new information, the terrain you previously identified and on which you should have prepared will constantly change. Don’t get upset; use this new information to develop new solutions or agreements acceptable to both parties. This is only possible if you have the power to decide on that agreement.

Now, when we talk about negotiating with superiors or bosses, whether for a salary increase or benefits, these same principles apply. For example, preparing before the conversation with data and understanding the company’s rules or policies, going into the conversation with a willingness to talk and not ‘win,’ listening to the manager’s position and making yourself heard, demonstrating your position based on data and performance, but also asking questions to delve deeper and better understand the other party, focusing on common interests rather than disagreements or potential solutions, and knowing in advance that you have several possible scenarios that are acceptable to you and communicating this to your boss.

I hope these five suggestions help you better prepare for your future negotiations at work or in other areas!