Categoría: English entries

In various countries, such as Peru and others in Latin America and around the world, we have been given the mistaken notion that negotiating any issue is about ‘winning’ and ensuring that our position prevails. If our proposal isn’t accepted, we were led to believe that the ‘other’ party is taking advantage of us. Due to cultural, historical, or social factors, these perceptions are sometimes deeply ingrained in our work behaviors and environment. While this may be true in some cases, negotiation is a complex process that goes beyond simply ‘winning’ or ‘losing.’

Negotiation, above all, is a dialogue aimed at reaching an agreement or solution that is acceptable enough for all parties involved to implement. Therefore, negotiation is nothing more than a two-way communication process that seeks to build bridges of understanding and acceptance between opposing positions but with common interests.

There is abundant literature on negotiation because conducting it successfully requires a set of skills and qualities that must be systematically and intentionally cultivated. It demands practice, discipline, and a willingness to create common agreement spaces. Here, we will summarize some of the principles that Urma considers fundamental to improving your negotiation skills:

1. Be prepared: Before entering a negotiation, it’s essential to be thoroughly prepared. What does this mean? Preparation for a negotiation involves having the right data, information from past similar experiences, an understanding of the other party’s history, and more. If you do your homework in advance, you can envision multiple scenarios in your mind, even those that are less likely to be discussed. The more creativity you apply in your preparation, the more confidence you will instill in yourself. Do not discard ideas that may seem implausible. The secret is not to be surprised by anything and have the right disposition to enter the negotiation.
2. Develop the right mindset: We often hear that we should have an ‘open mind’ to face a situation or find a solution. This is the opportunity to genuinely do so. It means having the ability to look beyond the differences between the parties, especially looking beyond the person in front of us. Emotional intelligence and a genuine willingness to ‘let’s talk and solve’ instead of ‘I will win’ play a significant role in the tone of the negotiation. When you think you must win, it means someone else will lose, and nobody likes to lose.
3. Practice active listening: Knowing how to listen is an art. This involves understanding the reasons behind the other party’s position. An exercise to promote active listening is to ask several questions about the proposals or topics presented by the other person. You need to be ‘present’ in the conversation, maintaining eye contact, avoiding distractions (such as phones), and, most importantly, avoiding thinking ‘how do I respond to what they’re saying’ but rather thinking ‘how do I learn more about their position.’ Pay attention to body language, which reveals a lot about how both the other person and we feel in a conversation. Effective listening helps put yourself in the other person’s shoes and generate empathy, which is highly valued in complicated situations where ‘thinking outside the box’ solutions are limited.
4. Focus on points of interest: An important outcome of effective listening is that you can discover the other party’s interests, just as you will make your interests known. From this mutual understanding and knowledge, the path can be cleared to find an acceptable solution for both parties. The opposite of this approach is a ‘solution-focused’ negotiation, where a solution is discussed without understanding the reasons behind the proposal. Unfortunately, this ‘solution-focused’ approach drains the parties, wastes time, and generates frustration. It’s better to build from the interests expressed by both parties.
5. Be flexible and think outside your initial parameters: First and foremost, in a negotiation, ensure that you have the authority to make the final decision on the agreement. This is important for building trust between both parties. More importantly, with new information, the terrain you previously identified and on which you should have prepared will constantly change. Don’t get upset; use this new information to develop new solutions or agreements acceptable to both parties. This is only possible if you have the power to decide on that agreement.

Now, when we talk about negotiating with superiors or bosses, whether for a salary increase or benefits, these same principles apply. For example, preparing before the conversation with data and understanding the company’s rules or policies, going into the conversation with a willingness to talk and not ‘win,’ listening to the manager’s position and making yourself heard, demonstrating your position based on data and performance, but also asking questions to delve deeper and better understand the other party, focusing on common interests rather than disagreements or potential solutions, and knowing in advance that you have several possible scenarios that are acceptable to you and communicating this to your boss.

I hope these five suggestions help you better prepare for your future negotiations at work or in other areas!

When I began my career in the field of communications, with several fewer years and wrinkles, I felt that what my bosses said was always right or the most sensible. And I had this impression either because of the authority they wielded over the team, the gray hairs on their heads, their years of work experience, or a combination of it all. And though sometimes I felt that their decisions weren’t the most suitable, or I thought there were more efficient and impactful ways than what they proposed, it was very difficult for me to express an opinion that disagreed with theirs or to offer an alternative. However, once the decision was implemented, and we discussed as a team what could be improved or changed, my bosses would tell me that those ideas or opinions I had thought of but hadn’t expressed at the time could have enhanced the results or the execution of the work.

Over the years, now as a manager overseeing fairly large multidisciplinary teams, there isn’t a decision I make or direction I provide without pausing and seeking my team’s input. I do it because these discrepancies and different viewpoints only enrich the discussion in decision-making and strengthen the foundations of a decision. Of course, not all managers seek opinions in public, nor are they all immediately open to evaluating different positions. It depends a lot on each manager’s leadership style, the type of decision being made, and the context in which it is made. For example, if we’re in a crisis stage and need to make emergency decisions or deal with confidential information, there isn’t much to consult or opinions to seek. But those are the exceptions to what should be the rule.

What I can assure you, regardless of the nature of the work we do, in any field, any manager who wants to excel and make an impact in their company will always be willing to listen to opinions different from their own. Here are five tips for you to disagree with your boss and not ‘die’ in the attempt:

1. Choose the right time and place. Someone once told me, ‘Celebrate and praise in public, criticize and disagree privately.’ Perhaps it’s one of the best pieces of advice I’ve received in my career and it works perfectly when it comes to disagreeing with my superiors. No matter how intense your opinion is or how great your disagreement, always think about when and where to communicate it to your bosses. Ideally, approach your boss, schedule a meeting, and have a private conversation. Something very important: before you start, ask if your boss would like to hear a different point of view.
2. Emphasize the points you agree on. It’s important to emphasize that your viewpoint comes from the same interest and desire to achieve impactful results or find the best solution or make the right decision. Don’t make this disagreement a personal matter; it’s not about who wins or who knows more, regardless of their position of authority. That’s not the right focus. Instead, focus on the overall objective (or what’s called the big picture, in management terms: don’t focus on the tree but on the forest). The key here is to show respect for the opinions and arguments your bosses have presented.
3. Prepare yourself. I find it very productive to put my ideas in order on paper (or on the phone). This writing exercise is very useful for helping me identify weaknesses in my logic and strengthen my suggestions. Part of this process of organizing my thoughts is having several questions for my bosses and not assuming or taking information for granted. Why is this important? Because managers have information that can’t always be shared, and that data plays a crucial role in decision-making. So, the best way to be prepared is to ask if there are other factors at play that you’re not aware of that will have a decisive role in the decision. To make this a productive and enriching encounter, you have to practice active listening and ask as many questions as you provide opinions.
4. Provide an alternative or solution. During the conversation, adjust or strengthen your proposals and offer alternative solutions that are feasible, they should be shaped by the information you receive from your bosses and the tone of the discussion. The alternative you present should consider how the established objectives will be achieved equally or even better that the original proposal and benefit the company or organization. Depending on your time in the job, present alternatives that have worked in similar situations. The institutional history that each employee brings is highly valued. It should always be used judiciously!
5. Offer to help with implementation. Remember that the final decision will always be made by the bosses. Regardless of the final outcome, whether your idea or opinion was accepted or not, it’s important that your bosses see you as an employee who is committed to the organization and the work, who respects the decisions made, and who will contribute to the execution of the decision. And once the meeting is concluded, don’t reopen this conversation with your bosses or the team unless the context has changed.

I hope these tips help you gain more confidence in presenting and substantiating a disagreement with your bosses. Remember that it’s very important to provide your opinions in a timely, eloquent, and robust manner. That way, you’ll earn the respect not only of your supervisors but also of your team. Good luck and keep growing and developing!